Get ready, because what I’m about to ask may take you a bit off guard but please don’t be offended…
Are you and over-involved parent?
Not sure? Maybe? Perhaps?
Take a gander at these statements and see if any ring true for you…
• Your children’s good or difficult behavior and successful or unsuccessful achievements define your worth.
• Your children are the center of your life – your purpose in life.
• Your focus is on taking care of your children rather than taking care of yourself.
• Your happiness or pain is determined by your children.
• You are invasive – you need to know everything about what your children think and do.
*From Meg Meeker’s Book: Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
If you identify with one or more of these statements, you are – what they say in the biz – EMESHED.
Eww. Just the sound of that word isn’t good.
If you are – admit it. Be honest with yourself.
Next, let’s figure out the “why” behind it.
Why do you feel that way?
Why do you make the decisions for your kids that you do?
Why do you have them in the schools they are in, the activities they are in, the friendships you support that they are in, etc.
What are the motives behind what you decide to do as mom?
Need help uncovering your motives? Your “WHY”?
Answer these questions:
• Why do I ______________ for him? (put him in a certain school, sign her up for the various extra-curriculars, buy expensive clothes, do household chores that they can learn to do for themselves, etc.)
• Do I do things with for him/her in order to fill a void inside me?
• Do I do things for him/her in order to feel better about myself?
• Do I do what I do with or for him/her because it’s best or am I getting some secondary gain that may not be healthy?
Or you can approach it with these questions:
• Is doing _______ for him/her helping them to become more independent?
• Does doing _ for him/her encourage them to be a better young man/woman?
• Does allowing him/her to ____________ strengthen his/her character?
*From Strong Moms, Strong Sons by Meg Meeker