There used to be a radio personality that would introduce herself as “her kids’ mom”, like that was the only “title” that mattered to say.
I remember hearing that and thinking to myself, how cool is that? She must be so proud of her kids and she has got to be an amazing mom.
This was before I had kids of my own and lost sight of who I was.
I was truly Stephanie, Hayden and Ronan’s mom.
It felt like the name before the comma didn’t mean much. That the only meaning was what was after the comma. Like that was my distinguishing characteristic, my “claim to fame” if you will.
And for a while, when the kids were young, life was all about them. Their needs, their schedule, their nap times. Hell – even the state of their bowel movements.
I was all about them and their needs.
During this time, I noticed I was feeling irritated, resentful, anxious and irrational.
Shouldn’t being my kids’ mom be the “be all, end all”? Shouldn’t that role fill me with such pride, joy, satisfaction and fulfillment?
Not so much.
That wasn’t what I was experiencing. All those negative feelings were part of me losing touch with myself – the part that isn’t a mom, or a wife, or a daughter, or a sister or whatever other role I was playing.
I realized I wanted to get back in touch with me. Like an old friend you haven’t touched bases with in a while, I needed to reconnect with the core me again.
There it was.
I wanted that.
Now, how to do it? How do I carve out the time for myself when I feel like doing so would be taking it away from my kids? How do I do it and not feel guilty?
I did it.
I found a way because I’m worth it.
So are you.
Let me show you how.