I knew parenting was somewhat of a circus but I’ve come to realize that as Mom; I’m right in the middle of the crazy-ass spectacle.
I’m high above the crowd, walking the tight rope between being “Overly Selfish Mom” (where my desire to hole up in my room and binge watch Real Housewives of Wherever–The-Hell is calling me) and “Mommy Martyr” (where I feel pressure to do all and be all to my sons, sacrificing myself on the altar of perfect mom).
And I’m telling you – the pull towards “Mommy Martyr” is STRONG.
We are taught, though an avalanche of materials available at the speed of a google search and through peer models and Facebook updates that “good” mothers stay involved in EVERYTHING in their kids’ lives.
Volunteering at their school? Obviously!
Overseeing every practice for every activity? Of course!
Stepping in at every and any moment there is a bump in the proverbial road? Damn Straight!
Pair that with the deep socially-set belief that us moms are SO important, SO vital in our kids’ lives (again, hello PRESSURE! Welcome to the party!) that our own activities need to revolve around them.
Now add on a thick layer of competition: with other kids’ grades, sport prowess, friendships, etc., with other moms, with other schedules (we MUST appear to be busy because everyone knows busy = IMPORTANT! & SUCCESSFUL!)
Do you see how we are all but running directly towards the “Mommy Martyr” side of the tight rope?
All the while that we are performing our tight rope act, our kids are growing. They are watching us balance between meeting all our needs and meeting all of theirs.
All the while, they are preparing to do what is the next natural act in the show…
To leave the circus – and create their own.
If we are showing them we are leaning more towards meeting all THEIR needs…
If we are showing them that we’ve crossed the line from making them feel important to making them feel they are the absolute epicenter of our lives…
WE ARE NO LONGER IN BALANCE.
Off-balance, we will fall into the abyss of Mommy Martyrdom only to re-emerge after our kids are on to the next (hopefully independent) part of their lives.
And we will be asking ourselves…
“Where do I go from here?”
Do you need to work on your balance?
Do you need to take some time to analyze your life, your actions, your essentials?
Do you need to more fully understand where you spend your vital time and energy?
Do you need to make some changes and set aside the space, time and resources for YOUR development and growth?
Let’s get you back up on that tight rope, in balance, so you can be the star performer you know in your heart that you are.
Do this work for yourself.
I’m here to help. Let’s talk