I recently read a book Why Have Kids by Jessica Valenti which may sound like a waste of reading time when obviously, as a mother of two, that Jeanie is out of the bottle and there ain’t no going back.
This book was FASCINATING and totally applicable to us Stay-At-Home- Moms (SAHMs).
Think about these two pictures of motherhood:
MOTHERHOOD OF THE PAST:
Raise a well-adjusted kid
MOTHERHOOD OF THE PRESENT:
Raise the smartest, coolest, artiest, most well-behaved, most organic eating and fastest video-game weaned kid.
The shift and rise of the current state of motherhood, especially the SAHM (Stay-At-Home Mom) version, seems obvious when you think about it.
Here you have tons of smart, educated, driven women who in most cases have created careers that they’ve chosen to give up all to find satisfaction in diapers and spit up.
Where do you channel those success-oriented, driven and dedicated feelings and talents?
Pair that with the explosion of the internet with a vast sea of articles offering all sorts of advice on what you should do as a mom if you want to be doing what’s best for your kids and feel like you are crushing it in your new-found role.
We set such high expectations on the experience of motherhood.
Like it’s the “be all end all” experience.
That it will be the most important thing we have ever done or will ever do with our lives.
With these increased expectations come increased unhappiness and anxiety.
We are constantly questioning ourselves:
“Are we doing it right?”
“Are we doing everything that we should?”
But what if the best thing we can do is to shift our thinking and expectations of motherhood?
What if we can shift some of that drive and determination towards ourselves, our goals and our enrichment?
What if we could understand that the best gift we can give to our kids is our happiness?
What if we provided the same care to ourselves that we provide to our kids and families?
What if we prioritized the cultivation of our interests and talents to the same degree that we do for our kids?
Wouldn’t that take some of the focus and pressure off us as mothers and off our kids?
Would we all feel less anxiety about it all and enjoy each other more?
Wouldn’t that lend to our kids feeling accepted and confident?
And just as important –
wouldn’t we as moms feel that acceptance and confidence too?
I can’t help but think that it would.
It would create a vastly different picture of current motherhood.
And that may be a great thing.
Contact me if you’d like to start shifting your current thinking.