You CAN’T Have It All… And Other Good News

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“You can have it all!”

What a load of crap.

As a young girl, I was raised during a time in society believing this.

I even remember an old perfume commercial endorsing this falsehood.

It had this super attractive lady singing, “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan…” and then some line about never letting ‘you’ (some abstract dude) forget you’re (he’s) a man.

So, let me get this straight.

I can work and cook for you, my man, and I’m also responsible for your self-esteem?

I haven’t even layered kids and THEIR demands into this picture and I’m already exhausted and stressed!

Now-a-days the “have it all” mentality is still alive and kicking.

Newsflash ladies…

There. Is. No. Such. Thing.

The “I can have it all” mentality is downright damaging.

It heightens our expectations for ourselves, our kids, our mothering, our vacations, our meals, our waistlines to dizzying and nosebleed – inducing heights.

Thinking we can have it all, that we deserve to have it all, makes us feel anxious and overwhelmed in its pursuit.

And there is so much to be had these days!

We are living in a non-essential sh!tstorm, ladies.

One where we are hyper-connected and distracted.

One filled with too many non-essential choices and too much social pressure (Facebook anyone?) to show that we are having it all and doing it all.

How about we get real with ourselves?

We CAN NOT have it all

We CAN NOT fit it all in.

No one can.

Instead of feeling guilty, or less than, or anxious or (insert any negative, beat-yourself-up emotion here)…

I say embrace this fact and feel the relief!

What about thinking this instead…

Life isn’t about having it all, or getting it all done.

Life is about how to have the “right” things and getting the “right” things done.

And who defines what is “right”?

I’ll give you one guess and it’s not society, the PTA, your parents, your siblings, your friends or even so-called experts.

You will not find the definition of the “right” things anywhere outside of you.

That’s right.

YOU define the “right” things that you want in your life.

You set your own life priorities for you first – then your family.

“If you don’t prioritize your life – someone else will.” – Greg McKeown

So now the questions change from:

“How can I have it all?” or “How can I do it all?”

To

“What do I want in my life?” and “What trade-offs am I willing to make?”

Figuring out what is truly important and meaningful to you, what your overarching priorities and goals are for your life takes time and space to ponder.

Both of which you need to set aside for yourself and actually THINK.

No distractions.

No interruptions.

I hear some of you saying “Who has the time?”

YOU DO.

You DO have some CHOICE in what you spend your time doing.

I gotta think spending time creating a roadmap of your life’s priorities is worth doing.

Because here is the kicker ladies…

If you have taken the time to identify what truly matters to you…

and

If you have invested your time and energy into these things…

You will end up living a life you are proud of living and there will be no regrets.

Big promise here, I know.

But if you do this work now…

Where you base your priorities, your “right” things, on what truly and deeply matters to you (not what seems to matter to society or anyone outside of yourself) …

Then your daily life choices and trade-offs will be easier and less stressful to make because they will align with your pre-determined priorities.

They will match up with your “right” things.

I’m here to help you determine your “right” things.

Contact me to create that necessary space and time to start now.

 

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